Pokemon Twilight Cards

Wow....Stephanie Meyer...just..wow.

"Also, the vampire was just so darned good-looking, that I didn't want to lose the mental image." - Stephanie Meyer

She only said that because she obviously has no beauty. I don't want a mental image of her. EVER.

OMFG!

He's not so hot anymore, is he?
He's crossed between an ape and a demented underwear model.

Paper Cut = Getting Jumped

You know there's something wrong with your boyfriend and his family try to jump you whenever you get a paper cut.

A Stupid Lamb and Masochistic Lion?

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...," he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.
"What a sick masochistic lion." He stared into the shadowy forest for a long moment, and I wondered where his thoughts had taken him.

That's nice. The tough sparkling lion, falls in love for the retarded and 'innocent' lamb. 
Stephenie Meyer, omitted the word pedophile, while she was saying sick masochistic lion. And these lines don't make this vampire-human romance any more romantic. It makes it more creepy.

YOU STILL STAY WITH A MAN THAT WANTS TO KILL YOU?

So, Bella still stays with a guy, despite being physically abused by him because of his bloodlust?!!?
Guess Bella is a retard and homicidal!
PS: I thought these blood drinking 'Cold Ones' were vegetarians, and now they go all crazy over vampire blood? What are you people, sparkling wannabe vampires, or fairies confused about your diet?!

The REAL Twilight

Think he's sexy now?

Harry vs. Edward

Screw Bella!

Screw her. Lets just be gay instead! (Not like we weren't already)

Twilight: Sparkling

TIP: IF THE BOOK SPARKLES, MOST LIKELY THE VAMPIRES IN IT WILL TOO

Stephanie Meyer

Stephanie Meyer came up with Twilight by writing down her dream. She had kids and a husband, and she specifically said " that vampire was just too darn good looking so i just had to write about him". I wonder if Stephanie is even still married. Or if her children have read her book. If they have, well, I feel sorry for them, because they will probably have nightmares of a 109 year old pedophile standing over their bed for the rest of their life. And no girl will ever date them, because all the girls they no will be waiting for their 'perfect Edward and Jacob'

You know what else? She even admits her book sucks.

The Writing Of An Illiterate Adult

A Sign that you SHOULDN'T read something by a someone that can't even write out their own name.

Here is the signature of the one and only, Stephenie Meyer. Seeing as how her signature is just a mixture of childish scribbles and squiggles, I can't imagine how her actual writing is. Oh wait, is it the load of crap called Twilight? I think it is.

A book full of Clichés

Cliché #1:
The new girl in school who is awkward and clumsy and terrible at everything. How many times have we seen and read this?

Cliché #2:
The new girl falling in love with the hottest guy in school (Edward). No one saw that coming.

Cliché #3:
Despite the new girl's awkwardness and plain looks, the hottest guy in school falls in love with her. The epitome of originality, am I right? *sarcasm*

Cliché #4:
The new girl is hopelessly in love with the hottest guy in school to the point where you want to slap her because she'll do literally everything and anything the hottest guy in school will tell her to do just for him.

Cliché #5:
The vampire (who is the hottest guy in school), despite his love for the new girl, thirsts for her blood and struggles to control his bloodlust. Wow.

Cliché #6:
The vampire is a good vampire who doesn't want to hurt humans, so he feeds off of animals instead. *cough* Louis from Interview with the Vampire *cough*

Cliché #7:
The vampire thinks he's a monster and that the new girl should stay away from him if she values her life, but of course the new girl risks her life to be with him.

Cliché #8:
The new girl would rather die than not be with the vampire, which is the stupidest thing anyone on this Earth can ever say. Yes, I understand she's madly and hopelessly and stupidly in love with him, but you only get one life. She isn't even considerate of the family members she would leave behind who would mourn her death.
(excerpt from UrbanDictionary.com) 

My Life Would Suck With Twilight

                                            Twilight : A book written by Stephanie Meyer.

The majority of the book is dialogue and lacks any use of literary devices and/or elements that truly make a story. With little to no description and two-dimensional characters that are the very definitions of "Mary-sue" and "Gary-Stu," this story belongs on fan-fiction.net, not in bookstores.

She can't go five minutes without talking about how gorgeous Edward is, and it's clear she's living out some sick, fan-girl fantasy and getting money off of it.

It's popularity is only based on the fact that Edward Cullen is supposedly "godly" and the sexiest man alive. He's fictional and practically Grey colored. Get over it.

Bella is stupid. She's whiny and clingy, like most Mary-sues. Edward is has no personality. He needs to just bite the stupid girl already and get on with his sparkly-suicidal-vampire life.

Love stories are great, this however, is garbage. The way they fall in love is stupid and shallow and based on looks and lust alone. What kind of message is that? It's trash, pure trash. 
This Paragraph that follows is from UrbanDictionary.com: